This essay is dedicated to all the immigrants in the U.S. and most especially to the Filipinos who bestowed their sacrifices. Those that were able to survive from the longings of their loved ones and friends. Here's my own survival story...

Have you ever experienced such a difficult situation where your first instinct tells you how to survive? Survival is what we need in this country. Coming to the United States of America was my first survival journey. This is the country of which the majority of immigrant people considered to be the land of equal rights, the land of promises and opportunities. This is the country that symbolizes stability and power; a country that values the word freedom. A freedom that is probably unknown in some parts of the world.

When I came here three years ago, I wasn't prepared mentally and emotionally. It was like a lightning blast that struck me. I had no time to prepare or to educate myself. I was bewildered, suffered from culture shock and separation anxiety from my family in the Philippines. I almost gave up on myself and wanted to go home, but then I realized that the only way for me to achieve my goals and dreams were through the humanity of this country. I had been through a lot of difficulties and tribulations in life that I was able to maneuver gradually. Presence of mind, common sense and prayers were all it took to survive.

I remembered vividly how I felt and how to deal with extenuating circumstances as a first comer to this country. The first few months were filled with misery. To appreciate all the good "stuff", surroundings and beautiful places were the last thing on my mind. All I knew was that I felt awkward and intimidated by this foreign language even with my own husband! Often times, staff from Immigration, Registry of Motor Vehicles and Social Security Services had the misconception that I couldn't speak and understand their language at all. They often would ask my husband, "Does she understand or speak English"? Apparently, these words lingered on in my mind to the point that it affected my consciousness and self-stability. I felt down, discriminated and humiliated even if they didn't mean those words intentionally. I became fragile and sensitive. I felt that my heart burst into flame! If these people only knew that I learned the English language in my native home since I was in first grade. My husband often told me that I have a wider range of vocabulary than those people who were born in this country. My only problem was that, I didn't have the guts to speak-up.

The best thing I did to overcome and survive from all the "trials and tribulations" was through building self-confidence. To establish self-confidence is the hardest thing to do for a bashful person like me. Time flew by so fast that I had to do something to give me a boost. I needed to expose myself to various occasions and to assimilate to this society that surrounded me. I needed to challenge myself by not always being dependant and pampered by my husband. I realized that to always stay at home and hide from reality wouldn't be of any advantage to me. I needed to come out from behind the shield that had been covering me for years even when I was in my native home. I knew this would not be an easy task! It wasn't "a piece of cake" that would easily melt down into my system. It took me a year to get accustomed to the idea that I'm on my own... no parents and sisters to save me if I needed them. Gratefully, with the help of my husband's efforts, I was able to cope with all the things that I thought I would never learn.

As months and years went by, I started to adapt with the lifestyle of my new environment. To become more cognizant, be aggressive, not worry about what other people think, work hard, and exercise the words... "Ask and you shall receive". Though, I adapted some new foreign behavior, I would never forget the roots where I came from. The moral values that my parents, forefathers and ancestors taught me could never be taken away from me. Listening to the past, living for the present and looking to the future are the words that continuously inspire me to survive.

The goals that I'd been dreaming of in the Philippines were finally coming true. Words of recognition that I had constantly received from the people who witnessed my life in the United States, were enough for me to stand out on my own with pride and honor. It was like a victorious moment that I'd been fighting for ever since. What a big accomplishment! When I went back to the Philippines for a vacation this year, even my close friends and families noticed that it was no longer the same timid woman that they used to know. Here I am... getting better, stronger and wiser; a sole survivor of my own journey

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